15 Philosophies To Live By

By: Little Miss Ade-Tude

  1. No matter how sick you are, always find time to get out your crayons and draw a picture (it doesn’t have to be on paper).
  2. The grass may not always be greener on the other side, but the food is always better off of someone else’s plate.
  3. If it is on, I must turn it off. If it is off, I must turn it on. If it is folded, I must unfold it. Always be very proud that you can help mommy with this.
  4. “NO!” is just a really fun, new version of peak-a-boo.
  5. Also a fun game, running around with sharp/pointy things like pencils. For some reason Mommy always wants to play the “NO!” game during the running game. Weird huh?
  6. If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried. If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone. Plus, holding an adult’s hand just slows me down.
  7. If it can’t be eaten or make a cool noise than I don’t want it. Unless someone else wants it, than it is mine.
  8. If something upsets/scares/angers me it is obviously the adult who is closest to me’s fault. Obviously.
  9. Bedtime does not always mean that you have to go to sleep, it is also an okay time to stand up and yell things at your bedroom door. Also, you can throw things if you want, but it you throw your pacifier that is mommy’s fault, not yours.
  10. The more potential food has to stain, the greater the coverage area when it is hurled.
  11. Each day you should have a new favorite toy/food/stuffed animal/blanket/nap schedule, while completely despising the previous days favorite.
  12. The intensity of your tantrums should always be directly proportional to the amount of people around to witness.
  13. The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the amount of trouble you will be in when Mommy/Daddy walk in.
  14. Phone calls are the best time to do something EXTREMELY naughty.
  15. The best time to ruin an outfit is when you are out of the house and your parents have forgotten to bring along an extra set.
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